What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
