I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
