There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
