Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
