hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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