Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
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