When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
