That's intense
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
