haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
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The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
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They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize