woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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