I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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