I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
