after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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