Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
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through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
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OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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