I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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