I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
