Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
