? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
