he referred to my room as the tit cave...
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
