I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
