my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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