didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
