the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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