We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
