i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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