So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
