now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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