she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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