I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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