I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
