I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize