Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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