I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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