just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
