i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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