It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
