Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
