Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize