how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
