The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
