Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
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