when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize