Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
