But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
