My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
