people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
