After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
