No stitches, just platelets and will power
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
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