I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I'm passing your future prison.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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