I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
