Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
