my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
