he puts the penis in happiness.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
