I'm going to jail i love you
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
