Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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