So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
