Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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