so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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