Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
