Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
