Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
