You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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