Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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