so that wasnt chicken after all
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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